Self Punishment and Primal fears

There is a new era for all human kind, and with this also comes new fears and ways to deal with that.

Thousands of years ago, the basic human needs were the main motor and fire to make us move. The need of FOOD and SHELTER were the main motivation and also if we didn’t have them, the fear of been starving, without protection, and the classic fear of death.

Before there was not such a system (society) created, so the distribution or the resources, the security, and the way to get these basic needs were inexistent. Society came to build cities and all the systems were stablished providing a solution to satisfy those basic needs.

For those who live in the cities and have access to satisfiy the basic needs, now there is a new threath. Our mind will always look for something to protect us from. There is more safety, more access to food and water, so what is next? What is the new fear we are facing? 2 kinds of fear:

  1. Fear of not been good enough
  2. Fear of not been loved

The society developed technology and this technology create new ways of communication and sharing. Yes, social media is one of this big pieces. With this new era also came higher leves of competition between the people. There are more ways to get easy or free education, more specialized jobs, more humans that are looking for jobs, so the frustration and anxiety to SHOW UP, or BE DIFFERENT, so people can notice you, is brining the highest levels of stress we have ever seen.

The fear of not been good enough also comes in the intimate relationships. The pressure in some cultures to find somebody to love, and all the material requirement we need to have in order to match and get our “soulmate”.

So, if we are not good enough, we cannot be loved? This is still an unconsicous way our mind reacts and ask. And when we want to achieve someting and we cannot make it, we start to trigger old belives and behavioral patterns that may hurt us.

As kids, we absorbed behaviors and patterns from parents and the people around us. When we are in highe levels of stress and fear, those pattersn come up and are activated. The SURVIVAL MODE is always there. The thing is somethings this unconsicous reactions can really be harmful for ourselves and the people around.

If we are not aware, sometimes we punish ourselves by eating unhealthy food (fast food, trash food, tons of sugar, acid drinks, etc) or maybe we get so mad that we hit our fist to the wall showing anger and power, but hurting our hands. This is just some examples that can be connected with those deep fears of not been good enough or not been love.

Loneliness, if is not undertood, can be fatal for many people that cannot cope with high levels of stress or anxiety. Suicide rates go high, and in most of the cases, the person that decide to leave this live, was for a long period alone. Disconnected from the society, family or friends.

HOW TO DEAL WITH THIS DEEP FEAR?

HOW TO STOP THE SELF PUNISHMENT?

There are many ways. We just need to consider that whatever we learn or practice, will take some time to show us real results.

I passed thruogh many difficult moments in live and I touched the ground. I was burnout and sick, but I have 2 ways (or wisdoms) that helped me to recover, stand up, and keep moving forward my dreams. One of this wisdoms is MUSIC. Playing an instrument is one of the best ways to stay out of your mind. It takes time to practice but this is a LONG-SUSTAINABLE way to support your emotional intelligence and your resilience.

The second one is MEDITATION (in any form, color or shape). There is a simple practice where you just sit and take a deep breath allowing yourself to calm down and be more in present time. MEDITATION is just a way and there are many techniques with different names you can find out there and learn for free.

Without extending this message more, I just want to encourage you to learn music and play an instrument, AND/OR practice meditation. They will bring you a life-long support, and gradually you will see how your whole life start to be transofmed into a more positive and happy life. More peace inside doesnt make us weaker, it make us stronger.

If you are alone and need help, ask for help. Contact me if you want to talk, or find a support group around you. There is a deep mission that many of us are doing in this life, and in my case is TO HELP PEOPLE TO RECONNECT WITH THEIR INNER PEACE AND POWER THROUGH MUSIC.

Actually, we are never alone. The painful loneliness we feel is just an state of mind and low energies. Both can be changed.

Find the way.

Angelo Castagneto

Published by Angelo

Relax Founder and Creative Director, Strengths Based Certifiec Coach, Training Development Consultant, Music Therapist

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